Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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