piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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