Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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