Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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