Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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