Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
