It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
