Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
