OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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