I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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