On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
