NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
