Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
