I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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