How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
