Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
