Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
