I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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