Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
