Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
