idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
