Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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