Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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