Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
