Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
