Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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