Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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