Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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