Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
