I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He is an equal opportunity slut.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
