It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
