he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
