TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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