If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
we're so committed to being not committed
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