Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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