Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
