Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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