i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
