Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
