I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
