My nipple is on Facebook.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
