Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Fuck appropriateness.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
