There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
