Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
