Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
