OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
