i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
