i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
