You're so nebulous sometimes
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
