Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
